Video Game Addiction

Video Game Addiction is real thing even for us older tech people. I spent the majority of my fifty-fourth year in an MMO that I in the was helpless to stop playing. My name is Mora and I am an addict and here is my story.

For me the disease started as a child with food and moved to drugs in my early twenties but then I went to recovery meetings and I thought I was cured and I was for fifteen years then this game happened. I can’t really explain it but I do know one thing: this addiction led me to places I thought I would ever go and it also led to a suicide attempt.

Attempt one: did not get along with the community.

Attempt two: blew out my right wrist needed steroids to fix it.

Attempt thee: suicide attempt.

Attempt four: severely injured my wrist and refused to stop playing for two more months.

This is the essence of addiction ladies and gentlemen the helpless inability to stop no matter how bad the consequences are. I could not stop it was the most powerful force I ever faced in my life. This game owned me for 4,000 hours in less then a year and a half. I could not stop no matter how bad things got for me. I have never experienced an addiction this powerful in my life and it nearly killed me.

The game turned me into a vicious monster that needed his fix and that is all that mattered. Sounds like a dope addict doesn’t it? The dopamine hit for me was being so loved and wanted in the game. I never experienced that before so it felt really good like dare I say like a drug? It was in every sense of the word.

I have since totally quit having nuked myself in the game so no one will ever want me around again assuring ill never log in again. I had to take such drastic measures to escape that deadly addiction I was in. When I kicked cocaine in 1996 I moved to another city and never talked to anyone from that life again and it worked so I am doing the same now.

This is the funniest part I don’t even like MMO’s for a multitude of reason that really don’t matter to this blog yet I spent 4,000 hours in one trapped in a cycle of self-abuse and dope fiending for one more Raid or PvP Match. Nothing more or less then being helpless to stop regardless of the pain in my hand or the anguish caused by others in the game I had to play it. I also lost the last three good months my mother had before the dementia eventually killed her to this game and that is when I finally saw the destruction it was causing in my life.

It’s not until i finally stopped digging that I hit bottom and realized that this is going to kill me like it tried to once before. This is the deadly cycle that I was in and I felt helpless to stop it until my mother was in hospice on  her death bed.

I am way better now that I am not in the game but there are parts that I will always miss and most of it was dancing in towns to be honest. I guess this is going to be a long journey to fully recover from this and I will be just fine.